I had a whole nuther post written where I really had fun with with leaf blower double entrendres, but I decided that was a cheap trick and beneath me. But I had to keep the title.
I live in a neighborhood where the Autumn Leaf Anality Index is pretty high. I’d say about 8 out of 10. If you allow your leaves to linger on your front lawn for too many days, you may be considered suspect. Perhaps you won’t get an invitation to the 4th of the July block party. Kids may avoid your house at Halloween. What? You say you have a heavily wooded lot and it just seems natural to let some of the leaves sit and decay where they are? Sorry, no dice! Allowing leaves to accumulate on your property is outrageous, unsightly, and downright un-American!
Look what one of my neighbors did to his poor maple tree just so that he wouldn’t have so many autumn leaves to deal with in the fall. If you look closely, you’ll see that he basically hacked off the top third. Tragic! Better to cut the tree down altogether than leave this mangled specimen standing:
This final shot was taken in the neighborhood adjacent to mine, where the Leaf Anality Index is 10/10. Good thing they’re getting rid of all that organic matter now so they will have plenty of room to lay down giant piles of mulch in the spring: