One day I will pack up, move into its glossy pages
and take up permanent residence in this snowy tableau: Looking out from the porch of my rustic Maine cabin, protected from the frosty air in my Sherpa Fleece Big Shirt in Dusty Plum, my loving gaze falls upon my chiseled and stunningly coifed mate. He is the perfect man
in his Natural Fit Double L Jeans and Loden Waterfowl Sweater.Color-coordinated yet masculine, he snowshoes back home carrying a tidy bundle of holly berry branches and a Log Cabin Nut Gift Set. This man won’t leave dirty puddles inside the door or scratch his crotch or soil our sink with whiskers. This man will hunt ducks, split logs and set up our Lobster Shack Coastal Birdhouse, but stay as pleasant and fresh as this New England morning.
Our two perfect offspring – donned in Katahdin Outerwear in Azalea and Loden – look up with glee from where they’ve been cheerfully romping with their Kiln-Dried Maple Sled. No dangerous balls of ice beamed at little sister here, no threats or hair-pulling in these pages. Just rosy-faced cooperation in the talcum soft snow. They are, of course, our most prized treasures.
Except perhaps for my Discovery Skis and Rossignol X5 Ski Boots in Loden.
We will come in from the chill and gather ‘round our Classic Farmhouse Table for a cozy winter breakfast. Bursting with the spirit of the season, we’ll invite that lovely African-American couple from page 73 – for though they appear the picture of outdoor contentment, he seems out of place in his Nordic Cruiser Cross Country Skis and she looks perplexed carrying packages in her Boat and Tote Bag in Trapper.
But heck, it’s nothing a Blueberry Breakfast Gift Set can’t fix.
Our bellies full, we’ll chuckle merrily at the litter of puppies asleep on their monogrammed Biscuit Dog Bed in Loden, and when our neighbor asks “What color is ‘Loden’ anyway?” we shall laugh politely into our mugs of cocoa pretending not to have heard.
That night after sending our darling offspring to their Handcrafted Spindle Beds my mate and I will cozy up together under our Fleece Throw in Periwinkle. There, in the light of the Moonbeam Clock
on the mantle, he will tear off my Pima Cotton Flannel Nightgown in Duck and Laborador Retriever Print — with extra button – and, ….
Afterwards, our hairstyles intact, we will sleep without dreaming while outside more snow falls, collecting in airy layers. And when my feet get chilly in the dark of night he will turn to me and whisper “my darling, why don’t you slip on your imported Wicked Good Moccasins made from superior sheepskin?”
I have never felt so in love.