Yesterday I checked around online to see if I could rent a metal detector. I thought perhaps they’d be available at Home Depot or Lowe’s or some other equipment rental place.
Around here, people like to use metal detectors to look for old bullets from the
War of Northern Aggression Civil War, since quite a bit of fighting took place in these here parts. But I thought it would be useful to put one to work in my garden in order to discover the locations of all the tools I have misplaced over the years.
This is the tool I lose most frequently:
I would have posted a picture of my own fishtail weeder if I had one. But alas, my latest weeder went MIA last week. Dropped to the ground in a moment of distraction, it lay unretrieved by its careless owner, who had gone into the house for a cool beverage and then never resumed her labors. Though the owner even made a mental note of the weeder’s location before retiring to the house, unfortunately her frontal lobe malfunctioned and the memory and weeder both remain at large!
(Oops, I accidentally slipped into third person. I have read that this can happen to bloggers who’ve been at it for awhile, who gradually begin to forget that their online persona is, in fact, not a separate entity.)
Anyhow, I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I probably have between six and ten fishtail weeders scattered about my garden…hidden beneath ivy, buried in my compost pile, stuck in dense thickets of shrub suckers….or (what I really suspect) carried off my tiny Garden Sprites to use in their little underground homes ala The Borrowers.
Now that I find out metal detectors aren’t available for rental, I figure my only other hope of finding all my tools is some sort of hypnotism. If a Qualified Hypnotist could take me through some sort of Regression Therapy so that I could relive the moments where I have dropped my fishtail weeder to the ground, perhaps those memories would emerge from the dark, mildewy labyrinth of my brain and I’d be able to find my tools!
Come to think of it, a metal detector or hypnotist would also be very useful for helping me locate my Renault Le Car Matchbox Car that I lost in my parents’ backyard in 1979.