Smug Bastard of Abundance

You were all proud of yourself when this tomato plant that you grew from seed actually produced fruit.  Hurrah!  So what if it’s only one tomato and the plant is completely disfigured!  You did it!


Man, I bet even P. Allen Smith would be proud!!!

“Great job growing that one tomato, my friend!”

23 thoughts on “Smug Bastard of Abundance

  1. Ha! Gardening is hard! You are making me laugh (but then a sighting of P. Allen Smith usually does that to me)! This year I did something I’ve never done before–I dug up some self-seeding tomato starts that had randomly appeared in my veggie patch and potted them up, nursed them with lots of water, compost and fertilizer and planted them out. Hope I get more than one tomato as a reward for my efforts!

    • I’m sure you will, Bria. I actually do have a more successful tomato plant growing behind that puny one…I just couldn’t resist the funny juxtaposition between that sad tomato plant and P. Allen’s bumper crop.

  2. That is beyond any doubt the mankiest looking tomato plant I’ve ever seen. And I thought my cherry tomato plant was bad, with its yellowed, curled and chewed leaves and fruit the size of a marble that steadily refused to ripen all through the summer. Even the lizards wouldn’t eat them when they dropped. I love the way yours has to have its big, lolling tomato head held up, as its neck is too weak to support it. This just proves how difficult growing your own food really is, despite the lies to the contrary that us garden writers spread…..

  3. LOVE the sling. I can cast no stones. I gave up growing cherry tomatoes on my deck about four years ago when the blasted squirrels would take one.single.bite out of each one as it was almost ready for plucking.

    • Getting your veggies at the CSA is very sensible. So is getting them at the grocery store. There are many reasons to grow your own veggies, but I don’t believe that practicality is one of them!

  4. Thank God for farmer’s markets! If I ever grow vegetables, I will require at least one acre garden–that way, I’ll be guaranteed to get at least four tomatoes out of it.

  5. A tomato volunteer came up in my front yard. I had a young man come over to rake leaves. I took him to the tomato plant and said, “This is a tomato plant. See the baby tomatoes.” I did not think it necessary to add “So don’t rip it up.” But it was because he did. Those tomatos looked like they might have been the best I had ever grown. If it’s not racoons and squirrels it’s humans.

  6. I found another volunteer in the same spot yesterday. I don’t know if it will make it through the brutal summer but I intend to baby it along. I have no idea why I am getting these volunteers. God knows I’m a lousy gardener. Both the previous plant and this one must be from the same parent since I have only planted one tomato in that area of the front yard. Wish I could remember the variety….

  7. I’m predicting more normal tomatoes when it cools down some, and a trip to P. Allen’s place in the near future. He is probably rolling at your occasional inclusions of select poses!

  8. Hola mi nombre es Joel y quisiera saber …Que opinas sobre Beyonce, ya que parece una maquina de hacer dinero y solo quisiera vender discos ? Es verdad que la fama es capaz de cambiar a las personas ? Cuan fuerte puede ser la influencia de este mundo musical donde se mueve millones de dolares para generar mas millones ?Y cuando vienes a Peru ?GRACIAS POR TUS RESPUESTAS ANMTEIPADAICNTE !!!

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