While reading the latest issue of Better Homes and Gardens, I stumbled upon a new (to me) trend in outdoor living:
Phew! It’s about time. I was getting so bored and fidgety just sitting out on my patio with, like, no electronic devices whatsoever, wasting lazy summer evenings in quiet conversation with family or watching the birds and butterflies.
Have a fancy beach place? I am sure you are sick and tired of staring out into the azure sea, letting the rhythm of the breaking waves rejuvenate your spirit. Those days are over, my friend, because now you are free to ignore the beauty of God’s creation and tune into The Kardashians on your very own al fresco TV set!
Now that’s living!
Growing weary of the happy splashing and laughter of kids playing outside in the water? Hey, no problem, that’s nothing an 80-inch LCD screen installed poolside can’t fix:
Your kids will be sedentary and mildly depressed in no time!
I like this next set up a lot:
Hot-tubs are no longer about such things as “romance” or “intimacy” — no, your hot-tub experience is not complete unless you have a giant digital television peeping up at you over the hedge. Make sure to position it so that it looks like it wants to get inside the tub with you and appears sad that you’re not inviting it in.
Here’s my favorite:
Why watch The Big Game on your embarrassing little 90″ screen in one of the sixty comfortable rooms of your giant white mansion, when you can watch the action on a fifteen foot screen out in the blistering sun in the middle of your featureless grounds? This TV is a bit steep at $620,000 but they throw in the trained Irish Setter for free to make you appear a bit more humanized and less like the materialistic and vapid creature that you are.
Woo-hoo! Let’s hear it for Trends in Outdoor Living!