Chris Lambton, host of HGTV's latest yard makeover show, Dull as Dirt, I mean, Going Yard. I'm sure he's a nice man.

Generically hunky 30-ish host? 

Check.

Backyard “transformations” involving firepits, water features, and a big “reveal”?

Check.

Homeowners who host a party at the end of the show in their new “space”?

And theeeeere’s the trifecta.

Mmmmm-hmmmmm, I can barely summon the energy even to summarize HGTV’s new “landscaping” show.  But then, I don’t really need to, do I? 

Because HGTV has been making this same show since 1995.

They are REALLY sticking to this format, aren’t they?  So I guess they must figure we must REALLY like it, right? 

Well, somebody out there must like it because HGTV just keeps cranking it out, with only the most minor variations —  like the host’s hair is chestnut brown instead of sable brown, for example.  And it seems this latest host is sporting a Something About Mary style hair-do, so I guess that’s kind of new.

But I have to say, the producers are getting REALLY lazy with the titles. 

Going Yard?

Hang on…..

Oh sorry, I was just trying to imagine the incredible Meeting of the Minds that must have been that production meeting. 

Anyway, I know I’ve posted about Gardening Shows before, but I just want to re-iterate how desperate I am for some quality gardening TV.  Even a minor variation on the theme would be welcome.  How about an overweight host?  A couple who fights about their yard on the air?   How fun! 

Or maybe a twist at the end where the beautiful garden is revealed but then they cut to a closet in the house where there’s a hidden painting of a yard that just keeps getting uglier and more overgrown.   Ooooooh….

Now THAT I’d watch.

(Photo credit: HGTV)