On February 13th, I went grocery shopping on my way home from work. Right away I noticed things seemed different in the store.
Men. There were lots of men.
Oh yeah, tomorrow’s Valentine’s, I realized. So there were the men– old & young, fat & thin, hirsute & hairless, all kinds — buying flower bouquets for their sweethearts. They all looked slightly bewildered, and they were all purchasing either Valentine’s Day Default Gift #1 — Red Roses with Baby’s Breath in a Plastic Sleeve for the Big Spenders — or Valentine’s Day Default Gift #2 — Pink Carnations in a Plastic Sleeve for the more frugal/slightly less-committed set.
I thought, awwww, how cute. Until I realized how much they were clogging up the checkout lanes, and then I was like, get a move-on, you unimaginative bunch of lemmings!
“Surprise! I put zero thought into your gift!”
Black Walnut Dispatch 