Next time you’re out weeding, let these lines roll around in your head:

“[Weeds] would not be without their use, if they were good for nothing else but to exercise the Industry of Man to weed them out who, had he nothing to struggle with, the fire of his spirit would be half extinguished in the Flesh.”

William Coles
Adam in Eden, or Nature’s Paradise (1657)

“I weed, therefore I am.”

See.  You thought you were just out removing some worthless crabgrass but actually you are saving your soul!!!!  Without garlic mustard and nutsedge appearing in your perennial beds to challenge your human spirit, you would slowly deteriorate into an empty shell, a big, purposeless blob of Homo sapiens. 

That’s cool and all, but I’m thinking my personal weeding style is more postmodern with a twist of absurdist.  Let me go check out what Beckett or Camus had to say about this weeding business.