HGTV Grows New Yard Makeover Show From Cutting

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Chris Lambton, host of HGTV's latest yard makeover show, Dull as Dirt, I mean, Going Yard. I'm sure he's a nice man.

Generically hunky 30-ish host? 

Check.

Backyard “transformations” involving firepits, water features, and a big “reveal”?

Check.

Homeowners who host a party at the end of the show in their new “space”?

And theeeeere’s the trifecta.

Mmmmm-hmmmmm, I can barely summon the energy even to summarize HGTV’s new “landscaping” show.  But then, I don’t really need to, do I? 

Because HGTV has been making this same show since 1995.

They are REALLY sticking to this format, aren’t they?  So I guess they must figure we must REALLY like it, right? 

Well, somebody out there must like it because HGTV just keeps cranking it out, with only the most minor variations —  like the host’s hair is chestnut brown instead of sable brown, for example.  And it seems this latest host is sporting a Something About Mary style hair-do, so I guess that’s kind of new.

But I have to say, the producers are getting REALLY lazy with the titles. 

Going Yard?

Hang on…..

Oh sorry, I was just trying to imagine the incredible Meeting of the Minds that must have been that production meeting. 

Anyway, I know I’ve posted about Gardening Shows before, but I just want to re-iterate how desperate I am for some quality gardening TV.  Even a minor variation on the theme would be welcome.  How about an overweight host?  A couple who fights about their yard on the air?   How fun! 

Or maybe a twist at the end where the beautiful garden is revealed but then they cut to a closet in the house where there’s a hidden painting of a yard that just keeps getting uglier and more overgrown.   Ooooooh….

Now THAT I’d watch.

(Photo credit: HGTV)

ISO Garden Exorcist

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Spirits dwell in my garden soil, and they're not beneficial nematodes.

I’m pretty sure my soil is haunted.

In trying to figure out why all the plants in this certain bed in my backyard keep dying slow, excruciating deaths, I have ruled out high pH, micronutrient deficiencies, marine clay, grubs, acid rain, and communist infiltrators.

I figure the only possible explanation for the gradual decline/death of five cherrylaurels, two Itea, three ostrich ferns and a river birch has to lie somewhere in the supernatural realm. 

I took Hort 101 at the local community college, which covered common pests and diseases, but rather egregiously omitted information about planting over indian burial grounds and civil war battlefields, purging your plants of evil spirits, and dealing with neighbors who may be practicing horticultural voodoo or botanical black arts in retaliation for aiming your downspout at their flowerbeds.

In mulling over which of these dark forces may be at work in this garden bed, it occurs to me there is a niche in the marketplace for a more supernatural skill-set.  Garden Coaches have been around for awhile now, but I think a reputable Garden Coach/Exorcist or Garden Sorcerer could get a fair bit of business. 

I definitely need one.

Garden Designer’s Roundtable: Garden Travel/Best Gardens

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This month’s theme at Garden Designers’ Round Table is Garden Travel/Best Gardens.   Below are links to all the Garden Bloggers who are participating this month, including Special Guest Blogger Fern Richardson, author of Small Space Container Gardens. 

So put that report aside (or whatever boring thing you’re doing at work) and take some time to cruise around and enjoy a virtual garden tour.  You know you want to!

Huntington Gardens – San Marino, California   (Fern Richardson – Life on the Balcony)

Ruth Bancroft Garden – Walnut Creek, California  (Susan Morrison – Blue Planet Garden Blog)

Garden Visits and Lessons  (Susan Cohan – Miss Rumphius’ Rules) 

Open Days/Hollister House – Connecticut  (Scott Hockunson – Blue Heron Landscapes)

Private Garden by Zaterre Landscape Architecture – Northern California  (Rebecca Sweet – Gossip in the Garden)

Private Garden – Clifton, UK   (The Hegarty-Webber Partnership)

Tour of Private Gardens – Phoenix, AZ   (David Cristiani – The Desert Edge)

Flora Grubb Nursery – San Francisco, CA  (Gen Schmidt – North Coast Gardening)

Next month’s theme will be “Our Home Gardens” and I’m proud to say that yours truly will be joining the Roundtable Team!

Children’s Film Features Kids Who Roam Unsupervised, Trespass, Get Dirty.

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Based on our enjoyment of Ponyo, Netflix thought that our family “might also like”  Kikkerdril, a Dutch film about an adorable little boy named Max who wanders around the Dutch countryside in search of frog’s eggs. 

Now, the original Dutch title translates as “Frog Spawn”, which I guess the American distributors felt wouldn’t go over well here, so they renamed it Max’s Magical Journey.

Whatever.  As a person interested in both nature and children — and in films that present nature to children — I found this film to be delightful.  It’s a refreshingly simple and earnest depiction of a kid discovering nature.  Totally low-budget.  No CGI.  No amazing macro photography.  No underlying environmental message. 

And I love how Max just wanders around with no accompanying adults —  through meadows and woods, riding through town on a bike, sneaking onto a public bus to get back home, encountering strangers with dirty teeth and making friends with them, messing around with irrigation equipment, milking other people’s cows —  all stuff that, if an American parent allowed their kid to do, they’d be investigated by Social Services.  

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The Creepy (and Pretentious?) Sustainable Community of Serenbe

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As noted in my last post, HGTV’s 2012 Green Home is located in the bucolic and “sustainable” community of Serenbe, Georgia.  I find the idea of building a “sustainable community” from scratch to be quite intriguing, so I read a bit about Serenbe on HGTV’s site and on the community’s own web page.

An Overview: The 900-acre community is located in one of the “last undeveloped stretches of land in the Atlanta area” and emphasizes “balanced growth, a mix of architectural styles, sustainability and land preservation.”  For stormwater, they use vegetated strips instead of concrete spillways.  They re-use graywater for irrigation.  They have a big community vegetable garden.

Sweet!  Go Serenbe!  It’s all very positive and utopian, right?

So why does the place creep me out so much?  Take a look at these photos from HGTV and see what I mean:

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Let’s Tour and Critique the 2012 HGTV Green Home

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On its website, HGTV is showcasing the 2012 “Green Home”, the eco-friendly, LEED-certified hippie sibling of their regular “Dream House.”  This year’s Green Home is located in the “sustainable community” of Serenbe, outside of Atlanta, Georgia. 

Like all of HGTV’s giveaway homes, this one is beautifully and thoughtfully appointed on the inside, but the landscaping is pretty much a snooze-fest.   Here’s a shot of the front.

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The Agrarian Buying Guide – a Top Ten List!

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If you’re like me, you’ve been looking to simplify your life, get back to basics, and really re-connect with the earth — but you haven’t found the kind of shopping experience that allows you to do so with classic vintage style. 

So frustrating. 

Well, good news.  If you weren’t familiar with Agrarian, Williams-Sonoma’s new line of fashionably overpriced garden and urban homesteading accessories, consider this your introduction!  

Thank goodness somebody is looking out for your image as you undertake your new committment to gardening, canning, chickening, and honey-making (you need bees!!!), because otherwise you might have to buy your supplies from a regular nursery or hardware store.  Ewwww.  Or even make do with something you already have around the house.  Gasp!

Anyway, here is a sampling of what Agrarian has to offer —

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Weedscaping With Mary

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Take a look at my designer “cottage lawn,” one of the hottest garden trends of 2012. 

Don’t be jealous.  It’s taken me years to achieve this look.  Note the highly desirable color combination of yellow (dandelions) and sky blue (Creeping Charlie). 

It's not easy to achieve this loose, relaxed, neglected look. But looks can be deceiving. These dandelions are actually in the exact formation of the Horsehead Nebula.

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