Say It Ain’t So, NWF.

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You're partnering with WHO?

I’m a little late to hop on this story, but I want to show some solidarity for my fellow garden/nature bloggers by adding my voice to the outcry against the National Wildlife Federation-Scott’s partnership.

The blogger who initiated the story was Carole Brown at the Wildlife Garden blog, and then I just read a good run-down of all the follow-up by Susan Harris over at Garden Rant.  I also read NWF’s defense of the partnership, and while they make it sound warm and fuzzy and songbird-friendly, it’s just hard to swallow.

I am not completely anti-chemical or anti-lawn, but there is no doubt that Scott’s pushes a regimen of lawn and yard care that is ridiculously overblown, unnecessary, and toxic.  And certainly not critter-friendly.  So NWF suddenly wanting to pal around with them smells like a Rattus rattus, no doubt about it.  Sorta like The American Lung Association partnering up with Phillip Morris and saying, “but they’re not that bad, and we don’t endorse all their products, and we’ll reach more people this way!”

The whole thing really makes me feel sad more than angry. I used to read Ranger Rick as a little kid.  Later my mom got me a subscription to NWF’s National Wildlife, and I used to cut out pictures of animals and stick them on my bedroom walls.  I know many people who have NWF’s “Certified Wildlife Habitat” signs displayed proudly in their yards, and I always thought that was a great program.  This new alliance with the purveyors of the infamous Four Step Clover and Insect Decimation Lawn Care Program….well, it kinda breaks my heart.

But I Digress…

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Here’s a totally non-gardening, Onion-style piece I wrote several years ago, when I was teaching high school Creative Writing.  Each year I’d get a few kids who loved writing Sci-Fi and Fantasy, and would give me these 200 page rambling stories they’d been working on since they were 12.  I submitted this to McSweeney’s, but after they sent me a very kind “no, thanks” I filed it away and forgot about it.  But then yesterday my old teacher pal Ami Durand reminded me of it, and so I decided it needed a fresh reading! This is for you, Ami!

Here, You Should Read My Fantasy Novel

by Jeremy Fisk, a.k.a. Ranc Goldknight

Here!  Remember how I started writing The Sword of Thalgamore in like, eighth grade, but then lost the files when my brother crashed the computer downloading that porn?  Well, guess what, I’ve been rewriting it these last couple months and just finished it last Thursday night.  And you won’t believe what happens to Thalgamore and Aearlith when they finally reach the Circle of Magic!  Nope, don’t ask me to give Continue reading →

Gardens and Language — What’s the Missing Link?

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Garden sculpture at Little Sparta, designed by Ian Hamilton Finlay

I’m always fascinated by the ways that garden design intersects with other art forms.  The connection between gardens and painting is obvious and intuitive, and has a long history in garden design.  After all, English landscape “improvers” like Capability Brown were really attempting to create idealized landscapes common in paintings by the likes of Poussin and Lorraine. Continue reading →

Hospital Healing Gardens Closed in Winter! Booooo!

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2012: I have to say that so far, I’m not a fan.

Only three weeks in and there’ve been several deaths and unfortunate diagnoses among our circle of friends and relations.  Then, on Wednesday evening, the Health Scare Fairy paid a visit to the Gray household, a 12 hour stay in the Emergency Room was endured, and two days of tests were performed in the INOVA Fairfax Health Labyrinth.

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Horticultural Distance Learning From Mt. Cuba!

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Update: I received an email from Mt. Cuba today and they want ya’ll to know that they are open to the public far more often than they used to be.  Here’s what Jeannette Zipf, Mt. Cuba’s Communications Coordinator, told me:

“We are open for public garden tours in spring, summer and fall. Spring tours, which begin on April 12, 2012,  are on Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 10AM, and Saturday and Sunday at 1PM. Summer Twilight tours, Wednesdays and Thursdays, are at 5:30 pm, starting on May 30, 2012. All tours are just $5 per person – isn’t that a bargain? We do recommend reservations as we strive to have enough docents on hand to keep the tour groups small and personal.”

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Garden Q & A, with Special Guest Buddy Todd

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Q:  Buddy, your new fertilizer, Grass Masters™ Complete Super Premium Nitrogen Blast, sounds like just what my lawn needs.  How often do I need to apply it?

                                                                                                                           Randy  Arlington, TX

 A:  I have an easy formula for you, Randy.  Just apply it every time there’s a major holiday!  The first application should go down on Valentine’s Day.  Then apply again on April Fool’s Day, Easter, Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Canadian Father’s Day, Guy Fawkes Day, and Thanksgiving.  It’s a cinch!

 

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When the Sun Goes Down Color Disappears

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It’s a pleasure to discover beautiful little gems hidden in unexpected places.  I think gardeners are especially adept at this –we notice the rustle of wind through winter grass, the pattern of frost on a leaf, the first crocus pushing through the snow .  These tiny delights of the natural world are not lost on us.

If you pay attention, you can find such gems in books, too — even when they’re not intentional.  A few years ago, when I was taking my first landscape design class at GWU and trying to practice drawing, I came across an intriguing discussion of color in Betty Edwards’ classic Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.  Color is certainly a fundamental aspect of garden design, and of art in general, but I had never really thought about color in the way that Edwards’ presented it.  Word-Nerd that I am, I decided to turn the passage into a “Found Poem” — which I hereby present for your enjoyment, or possibly your amused pity.  A scan of the original text follows.

When the Sun Goes Down Color Disappears

And what is
 
                                color?

Is it merely — as scientists tell us —

               a subjective experience

                                                               a mental sensation

that can occur only if there is     

                                                   an observer

                      
                     an object                                         and

        sufficient light

in the narrow band of wavelengths called the

       v   i   s   i   b   l   e   s   p   e   c   t   r   u   m

                    ?

Is the world really                  

                          colorless

only seeming to become full of color again when we turn

                                                      the lights on?

We cannot
know.                 What we do
know   

            is that

             
when the sun goes down                                               

                                                                    color                 

                            disappears

Life and Limb

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You really could not pay me enough to do this kind of work:

That was the view from my back deck a couple of days ago, as crews removed two stately, gigantic white oaks from the lot of my neighbor to the rear.  A third massive oak had blown over during Hurricane Irene, quite close to their house, so I guess the homeowners figured they didn’t want to chance it with these other two.  I am very sad to see them go, but have been thoroughly transfixed by the precarious process of removal.

Being afraid of heights, I cannot even imagine scaling a tree that large.  I don’t care how many ropes are attached to me or how big the spikes on my boots — it’s terrifying.  I’d always thought that tree removal of this magnitude could only be done with a cherry-picker and a crane, but these guys were doing it freestyle. 

In the picture below, you can see the huge piece of branch that the crewman just cut as it plunges to the ground.  Ropes are attached to these pieces before they’re cut so that they won’t crash into the roof of the house, but then they swing wildly back and forth before they hit the ground, sometimes coming close to knocking the climber out of the tree.  Ack!!!

Here’s a closer shot of the climber, with his chainsaw dangling from a rope: 

Just looking at these pictures makes my stomach queasy and my palms sweaty.  Not surprisingly, tree trimming is one of the most dangerous — and most unregulated — jobs out there.   And of course we all know the quality of work varies immensely from crew to crew — and that good work costs.

I honestly can’t imagine the price tag for removing those huge oak trees.  (They’re not done yet — they’ve already been at it for 3 days and still aren’t finished.)  Last year, we had a mature ash tree fall in a storm, and it cost us $1000 to get it all cut up and hauled away.  That price may have been inflated since it was a bit of an emergency (the tree actually fell right in front of my neighbor’s front door — oops!) but it seems that even a nice crown thinning on a large tree often pushes a grand.

I hope that guy who’s climbing those huge white oaks is getting some serious cash for risking his life, but I sure am glad it’s not coming out of my pocket.